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Walmart comes to Wallingford

Jordan Jordan April 1, 2010 43 Comments

The Walmart Corporation announced an agreement today to purchase the building and grounds of Wallingford’s Good Shepherd Center (4649 Sunnyside Avenue N) along with the adjoining Meridian Park. They plan to open their 5,783rd store there, the first inside Seattle city limits. In addition to their standard electronics, music, furniture, toys and home accessories, the “supercenter” will also feature  produce, baked goods, a deli and other grocery items.

Initial neighborhood reactions were mixed. Ron Waldman, head of the Meridian School, presently housed at the Good Shepherd Center, sees both benefits and drawbacks.

“Obviously, the loss of our existing school facilities to Walmart is going to be difficult for the children to understand,” he said, but went on explain that the Walmart Corporation has made certain concessions to mitigate the impact. “They’ve agreed to let us hold classes in the ‘Children’s’ section of the store, so that’s something. And with their rock bottom prices on top toys for boys, we should be able to provide all-day entertainment.”

“They’ve also donated 100 new Speak-and-Spells,” he added. “We feel those should round out the curriculum fairly well.”

Some local business owners took a more defiant reaction to the news, despite the obvious threat to livelihood.

Shana, store manager at Wallingford’s Archie McPhee, felt that the threat to McPhee’s famously unusual product line would be minimal. “Walmart? Do they carry Bacon Band-Aids and Nacho Lip Balm? I don’t think so!”

When told that Walmart does, in fact, carry Bacon Band-Aids (Aisle 84) and Nacho Lip Balm (by check stand 19), she declined further comment.

Kathleen Cromp, director of the Wallingford Senior Center, another Good Shepherd Center tenant, took a more positive view of the changes.

“We’ve been struggling to find a suitable gathering place for seniors in our area,” she explained. “In fact, many seniors are having trouble simply maintaining a place to live. With the addition of Walmart to our neighborhood, we anticipate moving our offices to a Winnebago in the parking lot, where many Wallingford seniors will be living in RVs, anyway.”

“I hear they have great prices on prescriptions,” she added.

(Update: Yes, yes, we admit it. This was an April Fool’s prank. It’s a testament to the character of Wallingford that we horrified so many! Wal*Mart indeed!)

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43 Comments

  1. Caleb
    April 1, 2010 at 1:50 am

    Well played, Wallingford. Jaw was on the floor for the first three grafs till I realized what day it was.

  2. joe momma
    April 1, 2010 at 6:30 am

    : |

  3. Heidi
    April 1, 2010 at 7:42 am

    Haha. Nice!

  4. DOUG. DOUG.
    April 1, 2010 at 7:44 am

    Any truth to the rumor that our neighborhood will be rebranded as “Wal*Lingford”?

  5. Carrie
    April 1, 2010 at 8:27 am

    Love it Doug! Wal-Mart puts the WAL in WAL-lingford…. made my day!

  6. Wallingford Mom
    April 1, 2010 at 8:30 am

    My heart sank! LOL… so glad this is a prank!

  7. iyqtoo
    April 1, 2010 at 8:30 am

    Good one, Jordan! I like it!!

  8. Chris W.
    April 1, 2010 at 9:05 am

    Mantra I said over & over on the bus this am: I will not be pranked today. I will not be pranked today. I will not be pranked today.

  9. Jacqui
    April 1, 2010 at 9:31 am

    Heart… stopped… but love it! Maybe our new Wal*Mart overlords will pay for the fireworks display.

  10. Stephanie
    April 1, 2010 at 9:35 am

    I HOPE this is a joke… I almost cried!

  11. Pen C
    April 1, 2010 at 10:31 am

    Awesome April fools joke! Was a little worried at first…

  12. Patty
    April 1, 2010 at 10:42 am

    Is this an April Fools Joke? If not it’s the worst possible news I’ve ever heard. I grew up in that neighborhood, and this is going to destroy it. Very sad day.

  13. Randy
    April 1, 2010 at 10:43 am

    When are you going to call out “April Fools”? Do it quick….pleasssssse

  14. iyqtoo
    April 1, 2010 at 11:56 am

    The Good Shepherd building is designated an historic structure. Historic Seattle, the managers, aren’t even allowed to mess with the perimeter hedges that used to hide encampments. Getting ANYTHING done in there takes an eternity of process–how long did it take to put the chapel back in use?? Great joke, though!

  15. Erica Doctor
    April 1, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    Love it. Good one!

  16. SeattleAlan
    April 1, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    That was a good one!

  17. Catmom
    April 1, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    This is NOT a funny April Fool’s joke. I got excited when I heard it and had to go online to read it … and it’s a joke? Not funny. Everything in Seattle is expensive except Walmart.

  18. aprilfolls
    April 1, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    Why does this have to be an April Fools? They need one for the shoreline, ballard, etc neighboorhood to where they do not need to go to MarysVille just to get to a super Walmart.
    This April Fools sucks

  19. aprilfolls
    April 1, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    They really need to get a Super Walmart in the seattle limits SOON!!!

  20. aprilfolls
    April 1, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    Yeah see- I told alot of people and they are upset now, because they were all really excited to have a close Walmart- but look our dreams CRUSHED!

  21. Michele
    April 1, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    Ok, I feel like a fool. I totally fell for it.

  22. Shoppin the Hood
    April 1, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    Catmom and aprilfolls: If you want to shop at Walmart, move nearer to one. The chain has been a retail virus everywhere it lands. Seattle does NOT need a Walmart.

    This is one of the better spoofs I’ve seen today! Thanks.

  23. Smart Enough to Know Better
    April 1, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    Will the people who are complaining that this is not a funny joke do a little research to find out just how poorly Walmart treats their employees in the US and abroad? How their arrival shuts down small mom and pop businesses…among other atrocities to numerous to list.

  24. Shoppin the Hood
    April 1, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    Oh wait…I just realized that Catmom and aprilfolls are part of the spoof. April Fools!

  25. Julian
    April 1, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    Ha.

    In related news, the new WA state liquor store will introduce an innovative “walk-through” window so that the urban gentlemen from East of I-5 can grab-and-go on their way to your front yard.

  26. Liz
    April 1, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    Good one! Had me going for a minute there. 🙂

  27. Andy
    April 1, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    You all realize that the reason that the Good Shepherd Center and Meridian Park were preserved and protected in the first place is that there was a proposal in the early 70’s to demolish the building and develop the property with a shopping center!

  28. Marty
    April 1, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    I’ve been depressed recently about the passage of the health care bill and all the negative reactions to it. I thought, at first, ahhh… so it goes. But fortunately, I realized before too long, what day it is. Now I’ve had a good laugh and feel just fine. Thanks!

  29. Suich
    April 1, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    I hate April Fool’s Day more than any day, EVER!

  30. Jenn
    April 1, 2010 at 6:01 pm

    OH MY GOD! This is better than the starbucks prank!

  31. Ffej
    April 1, 2010 at 7:24 pm

    Kudos, Wallyhood! You’re tied with the “canned Unicorn” ad over at ThinkGeek for best April Fool’s prank.

  32. Kelley
    April 1, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    Holy carp! Adrenaline spiked and I was getting ready to Twitter up a full-on chain-ourselves-to-the-swingsets flash mob protest until I caught on. Well played, Wallyhood!!

  33. Jeanette
    April 1, 2010 at 8:10 pm

    But seriously, it’s actually Costco that’s made a proposal.

  34. Sue
    April 1, 2010 at 8:16 pm

    Is this an April Fools joke?

  35. Janey
    April 1, 2010 at 8:28 pm

    Oh, I’m so glad most of us still have a sense of humor! I’m on the alert, having survived a US Airways flight this afternoon where, after we landed at Sea Tac, After we landed and were taxiing toward the terminal, the co-pilot came on the radio and said, “Welcome to Seattle. The pilot has just informed me that there has been a security breach at Sea Tac. They’re going to let us pull up to the gate, but before we can get off, they’ll need to get everyone out of the terminal so they can go through security again. This usually takes about an hour.” And just as we were all groaning and turning to our neighbors to say “Oh my god!”, he said, “And, by the way — April Fools!”

    I love this day!

  36. Janey
    April 1, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    And, Andy, thanks for your history! Hard to imagine how different this neighborhood would be today if the Good Shepherd Center were a shopping center!

  37. Wallyhood
    April 1, 2010 at 8:39 pm

    @Andy: I guess truth can be stranger than fiction. Thank G-d it’s only an April Fool’s joke.

    @All: Yes, it is an April Fool’s Joke. However, the article we published last year on this day is TOTALLY TRUE:

    http://www.wallyhood.org/2009/04/wallingford-secedes/

  38. Mimi
    April 1, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    I guess this is not a joke!!!!!!! I can’t believe the city did this! Must be APRIL FOOLS JOKE!!!!!!!!What happens to the lofts people are renting? In shock!!!!

  39. John Scott Tynes
    April 2, 2010 at 12:54 am

    Oh Wallyhood, you scamp.

  40. Anonymous
    April 2, 2010 at 11:56 am

    I completely fell for it!!! I was near tears here with my mouth wide open about to weep for Wallingford and America lol!!!! Thank GOD this was a joke!!!!! *breathing now*

  41. Burks
    April 4, 2010 at 8:51 am

    Good one! Those stores are located on the outskirts of most cities so it was hard to believe.

  42. Mke
    April 4, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    Told Barbara that they also bought an entire block at 37% over property value to build a four story packing garage……she wants to move!

  43. ailurophile
    April 6, 2010 at 1:14 am

    holy crap, batman! i was about to choke a bitch when i read this. wal-mart? my dear old dad would be super pumped about this. me? no. i’m with the chain-ourselves-to-the-swings-notion.

    whew! long live wallingford!

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