“Something sad has happened,” I told my five-year-old son yesterday morning.
I hiked him up on my lap, he leaned into my chest, and we spent the next hour slowly tapping through the New York Times’ photo essay on Nelson Mandela on my iPad.
As I’ve mentioned, we named our boy, Zevin Rolihlahla Schwartz, after Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, in the hopes that Mandela’s legacy might inspire and guide him. Rolihlahla was the name given Mandela at birth and means “tree shaker” or “he who bends the branch” in Xhosa. And so, our house felt Mandela’s death more so than we might have otherwise.
There’s lots of room for debate between the “Great Man Theory” of history versus the notion that the general course and trajectory of culture is guided by inevitable sequences and diffuse causes. But when you look across the many, many nations in the world riven and decimated by civil war, it’s hard to imagine how the relative peaceful transfer of power in South Africa could have been achieved without the singular influence of Mandela. A nation of millions saved from bloody massacre by one man’s studied dedication to justice.
How do you explain apartheid to a five year old? How do you explain non-violent resistance? How do you explain 25 years in prison?
We looked at the pictures, and read the stories that went with them, and I answered his questions as best I could. It’s a day I hope he’ll remember when he’s older, and always.
The world is less one great man today, but I believe that the greatest contribution anyone can make is to inspire those who come after them. His greatness lives on in all those who aspire to live by his example.
Let’s shake some trees.
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I understand from a master teacher that explaining to a young child is important. The view I heard is that we should be very careful about showing pain, brutality. Children do not do well separating themselves from the story and now from then. My source for this issue is Rivy Kletenik, head of school at SHA.
Hearing about sad news while in the arms of a caring and supportive adult will help a child take what he is ready for from the information given, and feel free to ask questions.
Oh, Jordan, bless your heart for giving “former baby” Z that amazing middle name. (And if I’m not mistaken, your own middle name is part or all of “Martin Luther King”.) Don’t know if you heard this bit on NPR this morning, but I enjoyed hearing yet another take on the great “old man’s” death. Plus the chance to hear how “Rolihlahla” is actually pronounced — from yet another man whose son has that same middle name.