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Kidical Mass Clarification

Jordan Jordan May 12, 2009 6 Comments

Once again, our jesting has gotten out of hand. We lightly implied that this Friday’s Kidical Mass bike ride, organized by Totycle, had some relation to Critical Mass, the “take back the streets” bicycle ride. Some folks got riled.

It is not. The only thing they have in common is that they are bicycle rides intended to help bicycle riders feel more comfortable riding in the city…and they both end in “-ical Mass”.

Look, here’s the visual we want you to have when you think about Kidical Mass:

A small fleet of children and their adult guardians are peddling slowly and cheerfully down a very shallow incline, so that they barely need to exert themselves. Chubby cheeked cherubs flit overhead, held aloft by impossible stubby wings, sprinkling flower petals in their path. The flower petals have a slight grippiness to them so as not to be a slipping hazard. The children giggle and smile, allow one another to get ahead, and compliment one another on their peddling prowess.

When the group arrives at Gasworks, they gather in wide circle, link hands and join in a group sing-a-long of Kumbaya, This Land is Your Land, and If I Had A Hammer. The sing-a-long is led by Joan Baez, Marlo Thomas and Michelle Obama while Jack Johnson accompanies on a guitar strung with corn silk.

OK? We feel good now? Now get on your bikes and RIDE!

Assemble at Ballard Commons around 5:30 pm Friday, May 15th for a 6 pm departure. Join anywhere along the ride, which ends at Gasworks with an ice cream party, Joan, Marlo, Michelle and Jack. Details at Totcycle.

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6 Comments

  1. chris
    May 12, 2009 at 2:05 pm

    It’s a lovely visual. Thanks for the laugh! You really do brighten my day with your humour & care for our community.

  2. eM
    May 12, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    What? no John Lennon resurrection…(or did that already happen)?

    also – a bunch of kids riding their bikes is an event…geez, the world is getting so crazy

  3. Julian
    May 12, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    I would not wish my children to have any association with a ride depicted by a *helmet-less*, and thus illegal, cherub. What kind of example are you setting for the children?

    And I now also suspect that this will be a naked ride, based on the promotional image here, and a suspicious similarity between totcycle and the male gonad. Have they no shame!?!

  4. Wallyhood
    May 12, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    Julian, I can only assume, given the fact that you are unperturbed by the gratuitous destruction of local flora, their shredded parts thrown in the paths of churning tires, that you hate the environment.

  5. Tim K
    May 13, 2009 at 12:25 am

    Lovely. I hope to have my wings back from the cleaners in time. It would be a shame to have to drag out the jetback and potentially scorch a pixie.

  6. Aaron
    May 13, 2009 at 2:19 pm

    By the cynic tones and rude attitudes, I can only assume that some of the posters present are supporters of CM. If you wanted to just have fun with the ride you wouldn’t have felt the need to react so inconsiderately. I do hope that your children will have fun on the ride, as I am not against fun. But, eventually, it does become one’s time to grow up. Let’s all think and act responsibly, regardless of the titles we choose, or are chosen for us. (In addition, me thinks that cherub is going to have clematis in very uncomfortable places for awhile…love the spokes though!)

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