Retiring in Wallingford: Aging in Place in Your Family Home

As we reach retirement age, we start to recognize our myriad housing options compared to what our parents had. These days, retirees have a wide variety of choices for where they can live and how they spend their retirement years. I used to work as a Certified Aging-in-Place Specialist (CAPS), and in this article, I will review what to think about if you would like to prepare to age in place in your current home. I’ll cover other options in a future article.

When I lived in upstate New York, most of my friends dreamed of moving to someplace warmer when they retired. I grew up in Florida, and knew I never wanted to live there again. I hated the heat, humidity, and bugs. After visiting my daughter for over 20 years in Seattle and deciding to move here in 2023, I just needed to know all the housing options I had.

Since I was selling my house and moving across the country, aging in place in my home was not an option. My space was not going to be the easiest, since it was a 125-year-old Victorian full of stairs, with laundry in the basement. As we age, carrying a basket of laundry up or down the stairs can be dangerous. I always thought I would move my laundry upstairs to my kitchen, but just never got around to it. I considered buying an appliance that both washes and dries, and I wanted to put it in a place that made sense for water and venting. Europeans have been using these units for over 20 years. I always heard from my CAPS clients that they liked having a separate washer and dryer, but when we would discuss the reasons, they were still in the mindset of doing laundry for a family of four. But when we are retired, we do not use as many pieces of clothing as we did when we were working, and we have time to do laundry more often, so these smaller, all-in-one units can make more sense.

Stairs in general are an issue for aging in place, whether they are for getting to your front door, to your bedroom on the second floor, or out to your back yard. Some issues are: how many stairs, do you have handrails, and what are the measurements of the risers? Stairs can be dangerous, but can be made safer, while you are still able to maneuver them, with acceptable handrails. If you have your bedroom on the second floor, a stair lift is an option. It can be put in and taken out without a lot of damage to the walls. However, I recommend a bedroom plus a full bathroom on the first floor, and I have helped clients change out their formal dining rooms for bedrooms to make that possible.

What kind of weather are you dealing with? Wet or icy sidewalks, driveways, or stairs can be treacherous. As we age, a fall can cause more harm than when we are younger—our bones are weaker, and breaks can lead to other health hazards. Make sure you have someone to help you prepare for ice or snow, although this is not as big of an issue here as it is where I came from. We do have some steep hills here, and if you are walking on ice, buy yourself some creepers to put over your shoes. They are truly a lifesaver.

Look at the picture of the house on the left. Is it safe for seniors, or anyone who has mobility issues? What could be done to improve it? I would have a center handrail put in for anyone using those stairs. Think about your guests and delivery people. Outdoor stairs without handrails can be dangerous for folks of all ages.

When thinking about whether your home is safe to age in place, let’s consider spaces that you are in every day. I like to think about what is under your feet. Some homes have ceramic tiles in the foyer, kitchen, or bathroom. Make sure you do not have tile that becomes slippery when wet. If you are remodeling, use a tile that is rated for slippage. Tile has a coefficient of friction (COF) rating, a measure of its slip resistance, and anything below 0.04 is considered slippery. Some tile manufacturers use a ramp test, or R-rating, for slip resistance, which ranges from R9 up to R13 (higher is better). Sometimes we design or remodel not thinking about these factors, but everything I discuss here is important when you build or remodel, even if you are young. You may have an older parent, or a child who runs in the house, and I would encourage everyone to design with the best rating for less slippage. Some homes have hardwood floors or new laminate flooring, which is usually not slippery, unless it has a lot of throw rugs. Throw rugs can be very dangerous for seniors, so make sure you have no-slip rugs or use double-sided tape, no-slip pads, or furniture to anchor them. Or better yet, just don’t have them.

Let’s talk about bathrooms in older homes. We know about grab bars for showers and tubs. If you are doing a build or a remodel in your bathroom, even if you don’t need and do not want the look of a grab bar, just make sure your builder puts solid plywood behind your tile walls or one-piece tubs for future use. It is so much cheaper to do this as you are building, and you will know the bars can be put in when you need them. Tubs are more dangerous than showers. Low-threshold showers are best, and with a proper drainage slope, you can even design a no-threshold shower, which is helpful if you need to wheel into the shower. We see all those ads about “walk-in” bathtubs, but I seldom recommend them. They take a long time to fill up and drain, and unless you have a heater, the water gets cold quickly. In older homes, bathroom doors are generally narrower than bedroom doors, making it harder to use a wheelchair or walker. Today, all new builds have doors that can allow a wheelchair to pass. Look into adding wider bathroom doorways if you are doing a remodel.

Kitchens can be dangerous places as well. Microwaves above the stove are treacherous if you are older, since holding a hot item above your head is risky. It’s better to have your microwave on the counter, a shelf, or even a cart. In kitchens with tall cabinets, those upper shelves are generally for items we may not use that often. However, pulling out a ladder can be dangerous if we are home alone and we fall. I know we all remember those medical alert button commercials, showing a grandma who falls and yells, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” Today, there are so many gadgets that could be helpful for a parent or family member who lives alone. Some folks have cameras that monitor them 24 hours a day, just for that reason. Also in the kitchen, stoves that have knobs in front are the best. Kitchens can be retrofitted for a roll-in sink as well. If you are remodeling your kitchen, think about clearance for a wheelchair or walker in the future.

When you are thinking about door knobs, lever knobs are the easiest to maneuver. Also, make sure you have a jar opener—as we age, we just do not have the same strength in our hands as we did when we were younger. Also, better lighting is very important as we age, so consider adding ceiling lighting, LED bulbs, or just a few extra lamps for more light.

Accessibility is not just about ourselves. Having an accessible home allows family and friends who have mobility issues more easily visit your home. Think about how long you plan to live in your home when you are building and remodeling, and also think about resale. The aging population is growing, and applying universal design principles to any build or remodel will be valuable, since it will allow for easier aging in place.

I have written about items that I would go over with my CAPS clients who decided to age at home. Most seniors hated to make any changes to their homes related to mobility. Denial of aging is real, and coming to terms with aging is difficult. Most of my phone calls were not from the seniors who were aging at home, but from their adult children who were scared that something was going to happen to their parents living alone. They wanted me to make sure their parents had what they needed to be ok. For those having memory issues, living in their home of many years is comforting. There may come a time when that is not safe, and having those conversations with family and friends and agreeing on a new plan is recommended.

Another advantage to staying in your family home is having extra bedrooms and bathrooms, so that someone else can come live with you. I was on the board of a not-for-profit years ago that matched roommates with homeowners to help with sharing costs, like on the TV show “The Golden Girls.” Sharing costs with someone who owns a home and lives alone; having a room-and-board arrangement with someone who may be your caregiver: these things can be mutually beneficial. It might not be for everyone, but many seniors are sharing space with family and friends, or sharing costs and having someone else there, versus aging in place alone.

Everyone needs an independent assessment to see what is best for them and their family members, who may be taking care of them or just worried about them. Having those conversations openly and honestly is my best advice. Contacting an aging-in-place specialist may be a first step in that conversation. They can look at your home and give you their honest opinion, not just the perspective you want to hear.

I contacted Denise Malm, a social worker at the Wallingford Community Senior Center who does free in-home assessments for fall prevention, depression, and dementia, and she also helps with end-of-life paperwork. You can email her to set up an appointment. This is a free service that I would advise first. I also recommend contacting a CAPS-trained specialist for a personal home assessment. You can check with the National Association of Home Builders to identify a Certified Aging-in-Place Specialist (CAPS) in your area. Assessments run around $300-$450.

I hope this was helpful. I will write future articles about other housing options, as well as other aspects of retiring, aging, and enjoying the next chapter in our lives. Please comment below about anything that has been helpful to you as you age in place, or if you have mobility issues in your current home. We can learn from each other.

Cheers!