Crime

I recently completed a bizarre tale here on Wallyhood about a brazenly outlandish attempt to convince me that my digital and financial identities had been compromised—hijacked for the nefarious purposes of gun purchases and money laundering. As absurd as that sounds, I believed what I was told for a period of time. I thought I was cooperating with the New York Office of the FBI, although under implied threat of prosecution and incarceration. It was a well-scripted and elaborate ruse with…

EPISODE 4: WHO YOU GONNA CALL? Previously, on A Confederacy of Dunces: I received two calls over the course of a couple of weeks, ostensibly from American Express, telling me an unauthorized purchase of firearms had been made on a card in my name that I didn’t know I had. Given the serious nature of this situation, I was connected both times to the New York Office of the FBI. There, FBI Special Agents told me that a bank account in…

EPISODE 3: THE ALREADY GOOEY PLOT THICKENS Previously, on Dumb and Dumber… I received a call, ostensibly from American Express, telling me an unauthorized purchase of firearms had been made on a card in my name that I didn’t know I had. Given the serious nature of this situation, I was connected to the New York Office of the FBI. There, an FBI Special Agent told me that a New York Chase bank account in my name had been receiving millions…

EPISODE 2: THE COMPLEX WEB OF DECEPTION Previously on Gary and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day: I received a call, ostensibly from American Express (I’ve dispensed with the quotation marks around questionable institutions and people, as it tends to clutter up the text), telling me an unauthorized purchase of firearms had been made on a card in my name that I didn’t know I had. Given the serious nature of this situation, I was connected to the New…

Gather around, kids, the old guy has quite a yarn, as they used to say! My story is far too long for a single article, and at the current time, remains incomplete. So in the spirit of Netflix and Apple TV, it will be told in a series of episodes. Today is: EPISODE 1: THE BACKSTORY AND SETUP This is a long and convoluted tale of intrigue, bizarre lies, and feelings of personal violation. And it all centers on…moi, your humble…